Tuesday, April 1, 2014

April Fool's Non-Troll Mock

Y'all some corny people to be spending time on a fake fake draft. I only spend time on the simple, yet equally as stupid, fake draft.

1 Houston Texans-Blake Bortles, QB, UCF
-everyone's assumption of the #1 pick already

2 St. Louis Rams-Greg Robinson, RT, Auburn
-one of the highest upsides for a OT in recent history, STL can go WR or DB at #13 and in the second

3 Atlanta Falcons-Jadeveon Clowney, EDGE/DE, South Carolina
-rumored interest, clear position of need and elite player at the position, trade up

4 Cleveland Browns-Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M
-rumored interest, Manziel could be the QB in Cleveland Day 1, if nothing else people get really interested in how the Browns do, which is something that hasn't happened recently

5 Oakland Raiders-Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson
-many believe that Watkins is the best WR prospect since Julio Jones or A.J. Green, Raiders still need another high end pass catcher to make the corp look decent, Oakland added pieces to the defense, OL, and at QB already

6 Jacksonville Jaguars-Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Louisville
-rumored interest, the best QB in the class in my opinion, future of the franchise while Henne waits to pass the torch

7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M
-many have issues with McCown not being able to replicate the size of the WRs from Chicago in TB, with Evans and Vincent Jackson, it'd be close

8 Dallas Cowboys-Khalil Mack, EDGE/LB, Buffalo
-after losing DeMarcus Ware to the cap and seeing Mack drop, Jerry pulls the trigger

9 Buffalo Bills- HaHa Clinton-Dix, S, Alabama
-after losing a premier S, the Bills add the best one in the class

10 Detroit Lions- Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State
-with all the tall WRs in the NFC North, Detroit can't afford to go with a smaller corner like Dennard here, but should fill the need

11 Tennessee Titans-Anthony Barr, EDGE/LB, UCLA
-high-upside player who fits the system well

12 New York Giants-Jake Matthews, OL, Texas A&M
-getting value for Matthews here, could move Pugh to OG

13 St. Louis Rams-Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State
-not shy of short CBs, and Dennard is the best CB out of the gate, Rams in "improve now or we might not be here in 2015" mode

14 Chicago Bears-Aaron Donald, UT, Pittsburgh
-one of the best fits for a player/team in the entire draft, replaces Melton

15 Pittsburgh Steelers-Ra'Shede Hageman, DT, Minnesota
-rumored interest, the top 34DL in the draft, can never have enough DL in the rotation, Hageman has elite potential

16 Minnesota Vikings-Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech
-like Detroit, can't skimp on a short CB in the NFC North, very talented CB coming off an injury, could end up being the best in the draft

17 Cleveland Browns- Odell Beckham, Jr., WR, LSU
-Cleveland trades up to give Manziel one of the best SEC weapons of 2013

18 Seattle Seahawks- Eric Ebron, TE, North Carolina
-one of the few positions that Seattle needs help in, jumps teams needing a TE and nabs a top tier TE prospect in the middle of the first round

19 Miami Dolphins- Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan
-RIP Twitter the very second this happens

20 Arizona Cardinals- Kony Ealy, DL/EDGE, Missouri
-rumored interest, Arizona runs an interesting scheme and Kony's build fits well in it

21 Green Bay Packers- C.J. Mosley, LB, Alabama
-Brad Jones isn't working out the way he was supposed to, Hawk not getting any younger, something had to be done with the interior of the defense, Mosley gives the upside of Lee

22 New York Jets- Marqise Lee, WR, USC
-NYJ gets another WR to help the progression of Geno Smith, who had nothing to throw to in 2013

23 Kansas City Chiefs- Calvin Pryor, S, Louisville
-KC in need of a S and a WR badly, with Lee off the board, no "traditional" starting WR left, Pryor found at good value

24 Cincinnati Bengals- Jason Verrett, CB, TCU
-Cincinnati isn't afraid of going after someone like Verrett because of his size, might have the best tape of any CB in the class

25 San Diego Chargers- Louis Nix III, NT, Norte Dame
-didn't have a great Combine, but SD nabs an elite tweeter and by far the best 34NT in the draft class

26 Baltimore Ravens- Zack Martin, OL, Notre Dame
-the off-season riser now considered as a OT when most previously thought OG, Baltimroe finds value in someone they see slipping

27 New Orleans Saints- Dee Ford, EDGE/LB, Auburn
-after a very good Senior Bowl and Pro Day, Ford parlays himself into the first round, where he's a great fit for what the Saints need at pass rusher

28 Carolina Panthers- Morgan Moses, OT, Virginia
-coaching ties, rumored interest, fits a huge need and one of the best few OT left on the board

29 New England Patriots- Stephon Tuitt, DT, Notre Dame
-rumored interest, one of the players in this draft with polarizing traits, maybe the Hoodie thinks he can tap into his upside, which is high, problem is his first step

30 San Francisco 49ers- Brandin Cooks, WR, Oregon St
-west coast reunion for Harbaugh, fills a huge need for them, don't need a great outside WR Day 1, but Cooks brings quality slot snaps and may be able to play outside for a small guy like Steve Smith

31 Denver Broncos- Jimmie Ward, DB, Northern Illinois
-could play either in the slot or either safety spot, Denver still needs DB help, and Ward is a bandage for anywhere on the field

32 Philadelphia Eagles- Xavier Su'a-Filo, OG, UCLA
-if the Eagles really are thinking about trading their starting guard, Evan Mathis, XSF would be a great replacement, and has those Pac-12 ties that the team seems to be going after

Recap:
1 Houston Texans-Blake Bortles, QB, UCF
2 St. Louis Rams-Greg Robinson, RT, Auburn
3 Atlanta Falcons-Jadeveon Clowney, EDGE/DE, South Carolina
4 Cleveland Browns-Johnny Manziel, QB, Texas A&M
5 Oakland Raiders-Sammy Watkins, WR, Clemson
6 Jacksonville Jaguars-Teddy Bridgewater, QB, Louisville
7 Tampa Bay Buccaneers-Mike Evans, WR, Texas A&M
8 Dallas Cowboys-Khalil Mack, EDGE/LB, Buffalo
9 Buffalo Bills- HaHa Clinton-Dix, S, Alabama
10 Detroit Lions- Justin Gilbert, CB, Oklahoma State
11 Tennessee Titans-Anthony Barr, EDGE/LB, UCLA
12 New York Giants-Jake Matthews, OL, Texas A&M
13 St. Louis Rams-Darqueze Dennard, CB, Michigan State
14 Chicago Bears-Aaron Donald, UT, Pittsburgh
15 Pittsburgh Steelers-Ra'Shede Hageman, DT, Minnesota
16 Minnesota Vikings-Kyle Fuller, CB, Virginia Tech
17 Cleveland Browns- Odell Beckham, Jr., WR, LSU
18 Seattle Seahawks- Eric Ebron, TE, North Carolina
19 Miami Dolphins- Taylor Lewan, OT, Michigan
20 Arizona Cardinals- Kony Ealy, DL/EDGE, Missouri
21 Green Bay Packers- C.J. Mosley, LB, Alabama
22 New York Jets- Marqise Lee, WR, USC
23 Kansas City Chiefs- Calvin Pryor, S, Louisville
24 Cincinnati Bengals- Jason Verrett, CB, TCU
25 San Diego Chargers- Louis Nix III, NT, Norte Dame
26 Baltimore Ravens- Zack Martin, OL, Notre Dame
27 New Orleans Saints- Dee Ford, EDGE/LB, Auburn
28 Carolina Panthers- Morgan Moses, OT, Virginia
29 New England Patriots- Stephon Tuitt, DT, Notre Dame
30 San Francisco 49ers- Brandin Cooks, WR, Oregon St
31 Denver Broncos- Jimmie Ward, DB, Northern Illinois
32 Philadelphia Eagles- Xavier Su'a-Filo, OG, UCLA